A Peculiar Spring

By the end of February (when I stepped off the plane from my UK trip) the weather had already turned balmy and the daffodils began to bloom, beautiful adding color and life to the barren winter deadness. Temperatures continued to rise feeling more like June than March. One weekend it was 92F as I drove home from Atlanta to Chattanooga. The warmth of the sun and added daylight was invigorating to life in the midst of some lifely chaos. I moved out of my cozy guest house on Signal Mtn and began a house sitting stint on Lookout Mountain. Again I am released from the dominion of "stuff" as it is all in boxes, though not yet in storage. I was concerned about the stress of "transitional living" but it has been a good move. I think I was tempting myself to be settled on Signal Mountain when I knew that I was not settled in every other sphere of life after returning from the mission field. My goal now is to not unpack in Chattanooga as I am seeking a ministry job and there are not any here. Temporary housing has helped set my mind on the bigger changes that are about to come and not get too comfortable in the routine of life. In one sense I feel like I have finally come home since I am now sleeping on Lookout Mountain. Yet, I think I have accepted that I don't really fit in this place any longer. I've changed too much in the last couple years. But I will relish the days that I have left here and enjoy the time with the people that I love so much. And the time may be longer than I think I have, but if that's the case, I might end up sleeping in my car soon! ....So the peculiarity about the season is about more than the weather. It's about perspectives changing, standing in the gap and living by faith when nothing makes sense, and cherishing fleeting moments. I should have cherished those peculiar warm days in March. It has snowed twice in April!

Updates on Life

Really, I have not meant to be so neglectful of this blog or my friendships with my readers. I thought I would return by giving you some updates on life and what I am learning. Not much has changed concerning daily life. I still go to the Monday - Friday job of "too many papers" at Covenant and try so hard to pay attention to the thousands of details this job requires. Still living in the little house but that will soon end so I can live closer to work. And I'm very excited about a trip back to the UK in 10 days time. I'l be visiting friends in London, Nairn, Dunfermline and Glasgow. I have all kinds of mixed feelings about the trip. I fear it might be a bit of an emotional roller coaster, which is to be expected. But mostly I expect that it will be an opportunity for me to take a deep breath and relish in the what I love most in life, ministering to people's souls. That is what Scotland was about for me and that is what I miss the most about it now.

That brings me to what I am learning. I have not been easily accepting of the Lord's discipline in my life this past year. It has been His desire to refine me to be holy through all kinds of trials and through giving me a time of rest. Just being content to rest has been so hard when I desperately want to return to full time ministry. Recently I was encouraged by a Andrew Murray quote given to me by a friend.

In time of trouble, say "First, he brought me here. It is by his will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest." Next, "He will keep me here is his love, and give me the grace in this trial to behave as his child." Then say, "He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons he intends me to learn, and working in me the grace he means to bestow." And last, say, "In his good time he can bring me out again. How and when, he knows." Therefore, say, "I am here (1) by God's appointment, (2) in his keeping, (3) under his training, (4) for his time."

So even in this "job of too many papers" there are lessons, many lessons, to be learned. And I have faith that it won't be forever.......